Theory of Knowledge

The Power of An Apology

Hi Everyone!

     Have you ever experienced a time where you were reluctant to give someone an apology, or vice versa? Well, in TOK, we were given the task to reflect upon times when we were given an apology or gave an apology. We were also assigned to read an article about a woman who had "divorced" her mother, but found closure with the situation once her mother apologized to her after 3 years. The author of the article discussed how an apology is a way of showing respect and empathy for the wronged person. But, after putting our TOK thinking caps on, we discovered that there was a deeper meaning to an apology than "I'm sorry". Whether a person says it to relieve the awkwardness of a relationship, to satisfy an adult who instructs you to force an apology, or because you genuinely feel remorse for your actions, apologies are interpreted differently all the time. Some people see apologies as power play - the person being given the apology may feel in control over the situation or the person giving the apology may feel that way instead. To me, I see apologies as something that should be said if you really mean it - otherwise, why waste your breath? 

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     If you tend to apologize in a meaningless way without realizing it, I have some tips for you! Just remember to include these three things in your apology: Remorse, Responsibility and Remedy! Remember, a good apology is more than just "I'm sorry". First, express that you understand how you have caused the other person physical or emotional pain, or simply that you're in the wrong. I know this is hard, but try not to find excuses or blame your actions on someone else - this may show the other person that you do not regret what you have done, thus making the apology meaningless. Next, show the person that you accept responsibility for your actions and any consequences that come with it. This will show the other person that you genuinely feel sorry and have had some time to reflect. Lastly, express your willingness to fix what you have done. Some situations can't always be fixed with words, but by offering to amend your wrong-doings you show the person that you care and you deeply regret what you have done. These three things are not easy to accomplish within an apology; however, by including only at least one, your apology will sounds more sincere and mean more to the person receiving it. 

- Sophie Fraser